Be it hereby resolved that in the event that any of the four charter members of the Cragin Golf Association (CGA)records what is commonly referred to as an Ace, that is, a hole in one, that is hitting the damn ball into the hole on the first try, gets to whoop and holler as much as he likes while on the golf course on which said Ace is recorded.

Be it further resolved that the aforementioned whooping and hollering can only occur on the tee of the hole on which the Ace is recorded, and that less obvious celebratory actions can occur on the green of said hole. These celebratory actions may take place with playing partners in the way of high fiving or fisting knuckles or whatever the hell they call it when old men pretend that they are hip and cool and can do whatever younger people do.

Be it further resolved that if said Ace occurs in the presence of charter CGA members, those members may partcipate in celebartory activities, but are required to congratulate their fellow CGA member with the phrase, "Nice shot, asshole."

Be it further resolved that said player recording said Ace is required to either duck hook the next tee shot into deep shit trouble or out of bounds or in water. Given the absence of deep shit trouble, OB, or water, said player will hit next tee shot into any hazard or precarious position that will lead to said playing recording a double bogey on the next hole. Double bogey here refers to any score which eliminates the under par score of the Ace thereby negating all obvious dumb luck said player had on the previous hole. Scores of higher than double bogey are permissable but not required.

Be it further resolved that said player may gloat and lord it over all members of the CGA and may record said Ace with other golf companies or organizations and reap whatever benefits other organizations or companies may afford other players not belonging to the CGA.

Be it further resolved that said damn lucky player who recorded the Ace cannot under any circumstances tabulate the Ace in a record against other members of the CGA unless the Ace is witnessed by a charter member of the CGA.

Be it finally resolved that any charter member of the CGA violating these rules will have the club with which he scored the Ace promptly wrapped around his neck.

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